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Why it’s Important to Slow Down

It takes a lot for me to acknowledge that I need to slow down. It’s nearly impossible for me to wrap my head around some days, but I know it’s necessary and needed. Even on days off I wake up and realize all the things I could be doing and spring out of bed in a panic, and the rushing begins. 
Sure, some days this can be a great quality. I can get a lot done in a short period of time but it also stresses me out and causes me to be a version of myself I don’t really love. The stress to get it “all” done causes me to give half of myself to one too many aspects of my life. Instead of taking a moment and realizing it will all get done, i sometimes adopt the thought process that the faster, the better. 

If I haven’t gone to the gym, wrote for my blog, and followed my schedule for that day perfectly you can count on me setting the tone for my day as being stressed. The older I get, the worse it gets, and the more unhealthy it becomes. Why is it that most of us feel like we are never doing enough? If we aren’t being productive and doing it “all” are we really doing anything with our lives? 
People don’t document on social media through pictures and snap stories when they are relaxing or doing nothing with their day, only when they are going to the gym, or brunch, or being super productive. Maybe you woke up to ten Snapchat stories of people at the gym or at work on your day off and the guilt will start to set in but why? Who says the days you were busy they didn’t do absolutely nothing with their day. Our fear of missing out is so real that it draws us in to feel like we are never doing enough, and throws us into a tizzy to make sure we too, are productive. This becomes unhealthy when you push yourself too far and to the point of exhaustion or even a state of anxiousness because you never let your mind stop. 
How do we change our mindset and come back from years of learned unhealthy habits? It’s simple, start small. Start by changing up your day, instead of jumping out of bed and starting your to-do list on your day off, start your day by going and getting coffee with a friend, or doing something that you love to do. As much as it will make you want to crawl out of your skin while you are trying to change up your schedule, remember change is good, and life is short. Life is so short. Too short. Short enough that one day you could wake up and realize you missed out on a lot by never taking a moment for yourself. Or, by never taking a moment to ditch the to-do list and live spontaneously. 

Working hard and wanting your life to be great is important but you have to find your balance. Some days it is easier then others. Start small and before you know it you will find your balance. It’s important to remember our time here is precious and some days are all about getting lost, in the right direction, somewhere beautiful. Ditch the guilt, and the to-do list. 

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

If you are anything like me you are almost always thinking long term about any decision you make throughout the day. It could be the simplest decision that I have to make but my mind will immediately start thinking about how it will affect me long term. I envy people who can make rash decisions and live their lives carefree not worried about how the smallest, or biggest of decisions will affect them. To me, if it won’t benefit me through the long term then I don’t want it.

Whether it is ending or beginning friendships/relationships, making changes in your career, any major life decision you always hope that you will make the right one. You hope that the job you took will be exactly what you thought it would be. You hope that your friends will be with you throughout all stages of your life. But, sometimes life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes you make poor decisions in your career or friendships and relationships that lead you to an unlikely place. When things don’t workout it can shake the world of someone who would rather stub their toe seventeen times in a row then admit that they should have never taken that new job or they should have never let that shady friend stay in their life. The truth is when life doesn’t go how you expected, you gotta roll with it. I know, it makes me want to cringe too.

I cringe when things don’t go as expected or when the day doesn’t go as planned but sometimes when you stray from what you normally would do or from what your life is normally like, you find things you would have never found. Sometimes the best changes are the unexpected ones. Don’t get so stuck in your ways, your comfort zone, or your routine, that you miss out on the best parts of life.

When you make the wrong decision when it comes to choosing friends, significant others, jobs, etc., don’t panic. Learn the lessons that come with life changes that don’t work out. Then take it with you as you move on. Their will always be another friend, another significant other, and another job that will welcome you with open arms. Don’t stay stuck. Take the lessons you were sent to those opportunities to learn, and move right along.

Quote of the Day! – Wednesday 2/8

“Let people do what they need to do to make them happy. Mind your own business and do what you need to do to be happy.”

The secret to life is as simple as that!

Xo Mella

Happy 1st Birthday Xo Mella!

Today marks one year of Xo Mella being live on the internet. Cheers!

August of 2015 is when I began writing for an online platform but NEVER sharing it. My abilities were there but my confidence was most certainly not. So, one cold night in January of 2016, the 17th of January to be exact, I told my sister it was time. Time for what you may ask? To bring my writing to light. I figured maybe my writing could so some good for someone, somewhere. I knew I wanted to create positive change and I figured this was the only way I knew how. So I began writing things I was going through, things I had been through, and anything else I felt the need to over share about. To my amazement some people began reading and finding solace in knowing they weren’t the only ones going through a certain situation. The feeling of knowing my writing was resonating with others was amazing, and it made all of my fears and reservations of putting myself out there, and being painfully transparent seem like it was a good chance to have taken.

I wrote everyday in the beginning. While finishing my last semester of college I took Xo Mella to another level and made it a podcast too which is featured on iTunes. The podcast was fun while in college but was put to the side when I became a contributing editor for the Odyssey. Maybe we will bring it back this year…(let me know what you think.)

The messages I have gotten on Facebook from people who found Xo Mella through me or from following the other platforms I wrote for was overwhelming! People want to see positive posts on the internet, they just very often can’t find them. When given the opportunity to do better, people usually will.

It has been an exciting year. I am very thankful to everyone who has shared my posts and supported my journey along the way! It is important to keep the goal in mind and that simply is to make everyone feel even a little less alone in whatever they may be going through, and a little more hopeful about what has yet to be.

Here is to another exciting year. Here is to a new look that Xo Mella will be debuting within the next week, and hopefully more exciting announcements about the future of this dream I have.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Xo Mella

If You Were Ready It Wouldn’t Feel Rushed

Today’s quote “your life isn’t yours if you are constantly worried about what others think” brings so much to the surface. How many times have you worried about what others might think when making a decision? Both complicated and sometimes not-so-complicated decisions can come with the thought process of what others might think when it comes down to the decision you make, seeing the light of day.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Putting so much effort into thinking about how our decisions might make others think differently of us rather than doing what is best for us even if it is not the most glamorous of decisions.

So what, you don’t have a job you are proud to say you have, you wake up and go to work and provide for yourself and maybe even others, their is pride in that alone, even if it is maybe not the job you envisioned for yourself for the time being. When it comes to others thinking differently of you because maybe you did things unconventionally, or maybe you took the road less traveled, remember one thing, their is no finish line.

Life is about the journey, and while maybe you won’t be the one who crosses things like marriage, kids, or promotions, off of your list first, it is not about being first, it is about getting there with enough experience to ensure a better future, one you feel you are well equipped for and didn’t rush into, just for the sake of saying you were first.

People often forget that life is not a race. Getting into your dream career, getting married, and having kids, are all milestones in your life that should not be rushed into. They are things you need to be ready for, because any type of rushing can lead them to become experiences that aren’t what you had always imagined they would be. Wait. Enjoy. Live. Don’t rush your life away, don’t let the words of others or their snap judgements make you feel like you have any reason to rush into parts of your life you are just not ready for yet. If you were ready, you would already be there.

Wait for it, or make it happen.

It seems as though in today’s day and age, negativity is more common than positivity. People find it easier and more satisfying to be passive and cold to others, when in reality, it drains you to your core. I would know because in my life, I have been both. Truthfully, I think everyone has. But there comes a time for most people when they are shaken awake, and they come to the realization that kindness is free, and life gets a lot better the second you decide you are going to try to be better.

Every day you wake up hopeful for a good day, but truly unsure of what the day may bring. Will today be the day you get that big break? Or will today be the day you get the opportunity you have been hoping for, for years? And then another day passes where it seems as though your situation is not changing, and you fall into the slump of bitterness, and waiting for your life, and all the things you have ever wanted, to start happening. While you are waiting, while you are letting the circumstances of your life make you bitter, you are also draining yourself of all the good energy you could be putting into doing everything you can, to be the best you can.

I have been both places. I have waited for things to happen in my life, and I have also taken every leap of faith in the right direction to go out there and make them happen. I can tell you for a fact that someone who sits back and waits for something bitterly, doesn’t really want what they say want, or they are just very afraid of getting everything they have ever wanted. I can tell you for a fact that risking everything, putting yourself out there for the opportunities that you have dreamt of, is worth every risk, and every reward.

Hard work, ambition, and faith. The three things you need to have to make sure that you don’t miss opportunities that were waiting in the wings for you the whole time you dreamt of them. There will be setbacks, rejection, and many sleepless nights. There will be days why you wonder why you have put so much effort into a dream that no one can see but you. But then there will be days when you excel at what you love, and all the right people notice you, and life seems to be so easy, and all of those late nights and early mornings were worth it. All the times you had to shake off people who told you that what you dreamt of wasn’t original, or that someone like you could never make it will be memories that will make you laugh. There will come a day, if you are willing to work hard enough to get there, when people aren’t asking you why you are doing it all, but how are you doing it all? And all the days when you worried about if you were wasting your time will look like a perfect path of hard work and pipe dreams that brought you to a place better then you could have ever imagined.




22. Coffee. Music. Running. Shopping. Blogging. Wine. & Hoarding motivational quotes.

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